Innocent and Chaste for the Night

*** LOG OPEN ***

– I have arranged since last week for Alger to come over at my place and stay for several nights. He seemed to be receptive to that idea, and I have blocked my time solely for him, despite request by Adam to be with me during the some of the promised dates.

– I had really hoped for Alger to come. I like this guy, and I was in danger of falling in love for him.

– Alas, he messaged me in the evening saying that he may not be able to make it because he was feeling feverish and unwell. I was lost and unsure what to do – I could only manage to send him a reply, wishing him well and advising him to take the necessary rest and medicine.

– If I wanted fun, I could have just summoned Adam and he will gladly come. But I was in no mood to see him. It may have something to do with what had happened yesterday, but it has been awhile I have this doubt about continuing things with Adam. He is a fine guy, but it felt just wrong to have an affair with someone’s boyfriend… when that said boyfriend is aware of the external affairs.

– Okay, so I am not a saint, having affairs here and there when my partner was perfectly aware of it happening as well. It is a saving grace, for now, that he is not in the know and have the knowledge on the actual individuals involved. Jealousy may bring the bad out of him.

– In the end, I went back to that empty hotel room, alone, and accidentally took a nap with my work cloths still on. That was around 7.30 pm. I woke up just after 12.30 am when I heard my phone buzzing.

– There was no fun this night. Only ┬ánine missed calls from my boyfriend and a few others from my friends. Handful of messages that need my attention. A few phone calls that I made after I woke up to assure people that I was still alive.

– With the exception of the missed calls and messages, this reminded me of my life prior to my jump into this rainbow life… the nights without calls or messages, watching videos or TV series or porns, and the once-in-a-while shisha outing with my university friends.

– My life has changed so drastically, but this night I re-lived my previous life, albeit temporarily and in such a short amount of time, of what I used to be.

– It was a good thing to re-evaluate life on a periodical basis, less I may forgotten the root or base from where I once stood.

*** LOG END ***