Cleaning Out the Profile

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– I went back to my room, alone, as yesterday. Again, Alger could not make it due to his health condition. I shall not commented on that as it was his prerogative whether or not to come to my place.

– Fai sent a complaint message to me saying that I was being silent to him for the whole day yesterday. My replies were unanswered – I guess he were mad at me.

– I also had a problem with a guy that I met on PR that wishes to have me as a ‘foster’ brother – an army guy – apparently he was a bit pissed as well cause I replied late his messages, and when I tried to call him, he refused to pick it up.

– My situation with Charles have not changed much, and he was not around for me to talk to or to chat with as he was hanging out with his friends.

– One old man that I chatted with on PR called me up while I was feeling a little bit down and lonely, and he started to engaged me in phone sex. I regretted ever giving this guy my phone number, but what was done is done. Luckily the phone call was not that long. I could not understand almost all of the conversations as he was trying his very best to sound husky and sexy, without discounting out the loud radio or television that was blaring on his side of the line.

– Joseph called me right afterwards, by chance, just to say hello. I could tell from his tone that he was happy. I have known from his Facebook statuses that he has finally met someone that he loved, and I could sense it was more than just a regular date.

– I regretted the fact that I had to be a bit of jack-ass when I was on the phone with Joseph. I did not say anything harsh or using any offensive words; but my annoyance at his call due to the jealousy I had with his happiness could be well detected from the call. We did not talked that long.

– I think it was best if I keep myself isolated from my friends when I was emotionally down. It will only bring sadness to my part and potential conflict with them.

– After all of that torture and emotional pain, I went to my PR profile and reviewed the content of it. There was a request by Charles for us to stop engaging with all these gay sites and social networks. I understood well from where he idea came from. I wholeheartedly disagree with it, but I have not yet say it in words, because I know it will only cause another fight with him.

– I decided at that point of time that I will just clean up my PR profile and left nothing but my nickname and some unmovable information. I will lose contact with some of the people, and traffic to my profile will definitely went down south.

– It was my personal protest against what I deemed as pressures that Charles tried to impose on me. It may sound stupid and illogical, but against a jealous and yet-to-be-fully-mature partner, there was not much I could think of.

– Yes, sometimes I tend to be a bit emotional and took things to the extreme. I knew that well. It was my choice and I had to live with that decision.

– I deactivated my Facebook account as well. Hopefully this will bring benefit to my effort and attention at work.

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